Glad to see my mom for Thanksgiving. It's odd not being in Woodbridge.
I really don't know what to say.
I've been so mentally disconnected the past few days. It's been a fog of anxiety, sleeplessness, and (recently) some euphoria. I feel really warm in between the panic and nausea going on. I'm really thankful for those little injections.
In the next week, need to finish the paintings for church but I'll finally have someone to help and keep me company. I'm hoping the keeping company doesn't mean distraction too because I really need to fucking finish them. I'm so mad I volunteered for this. >:(
Miss everyone right now.

my favorite thing of the week is the photographic dictionary.
http://www.thephotographicdictionary.org/home.html

I'm so tired of worrying about other people, so I won't.

I can't wait until I'm done with applications and I can await my future.

I get the feeling inside thinking about college.

Started my 365 Days on Flickr: 365

today tomorrow

I'm feeling better. No more sickness.

Every day another issue.

I'm annoyed.

But alright.

Always.

Listening: Death Cab for Cutie- Transatlanticism

It's crazy how many memories spring up from this album.

And it's fitting my mood right now.

And I've resolved that if I'm going to talk about other people I need to get used to being talked about. Or at least be comfortable with it.

Meltdown at work because I have the group with the most issues.

But I'm good now.

The best songs were playing on the way home and it made me feel a lot better. Plus I saw Colby's new house and could relax for a little bit before I got home and had to be defensive as hell.

Speaking of relaxed, life is so much better when I am.

Friend coming home for a while on Thursday so that's cool.

I am feeling strangely liberated, minus the episode today.

Reading Born Confused again. It should be a classic or something. too bad not many people know about it.

people

1. Maybe in a few years when we're all older... hit me up, I want to hear your story.

2. I'm sorry if I hurt you by being distant but I'm trying to cut my feelings out for the good of someone else. I think I did it all wrong and made you mad.

3. You make me feel like I need a boyfriend or something by flaunting yourselves everywhere. It's not on purpose, but it makes me feel lonely.

4. I'm glad we're cool now and I hope we stay that way.

5. Every day feels like a challenge to live up to you or something. I'm starting to convince myself that we have different talents.

6. I miss you like you wouldn't believe. Indirectly, you were my inspiration and (in a way) my mentor. Miss and love you.

7. Come back to visit again because you're so much fun in the simplest way. Awkward works for you.

8. You confuse the hell out of me. I thought our arrangement was to cut out game playing and all the bullshit.

this turned out SO good

Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger from amandalynferri on Vimeo.

Sick sick sick it's so gross. I feel like I blew out part of my brain on a tissue this morning. I'm going to have to start taking that medicine so now I have to drink a ton of water to keep up with the stupid pills. They just dry everything out.

I can barely talk, too. Which is a good thing because when John asked why there was a huge crack in the frame of the car I just said I didn't know how it happened. When really I know exactly how the fuck it happened and I should be paid to protect the certain individual who would currently be being strangled from behind right now if John knew.

Need to do some serious reading and work for government this weekend. No joke. And English class, too. And chemistry. Ugh.

It's always easier for me to let something go when I'm not at school. That way I can't see them so often.

Lots of painting today and we're still not half-way done. Worried about whether I can finish it or not.

damndamndamn

Conor Oberst and the Felice Brothers are playing this very moment. I wish so bad I could go.

I saw Bright Eyes about a year ago with the Felice Brothers but it was at a big hall and I was rows and rows away.

Maybe next year.

D.A.N.C.E. is still on every "original" playlist. Find some new direction, people!

Muxtape is currently down and I think I know why...

Still running from my problems in an irresponsible way- if it can be responsible at all.

nonono

Everything I do to get into college is preventing me from doing what I want to do the most.

I have to make time to create art?

It hurts.

"Running from the Rain" by Thursday. Such a great song.

So I went to paint the backdrop for the Christmas play today. Friends from church helped me. It turns out I used the wrong purple to paint it. WHY WOULD SHE PUT IT THERE? WHY WOULD SHE NOT TELL ME NOT TO USE THE OLD PURPLE? She could've told me to use the "dark indigo" instead because how the hell am I supposed to know she wanted to use a type of blue instead? We totally agreed on purple. So NOW I have to repaint the background which will take for fucking EVER. If she had just been patient and let me take care of the back drop like I'm SUPPOSED TO, I would've been told which color to use and we could've avoided this COMPLETE waste of time. GOD. I thought patience was a virtue. She couldn't just trust that I would finish on time like I SAID I would.

I'm a little pissed right now mostly because I need to take extra time and money to fix a stupid mistake.

Ugh.

Met someone nice today. :)

Trying to decide if the end was worth the wait.

Got some much needed herbal therapy last night. :)

Watched That 70's Show and House which was nice because I love those shows.

Detour at home to take care of some things

(I've had better)

Then went to my guardian's house.

Right now, can't help loving Nelly Furtado.

50 years of songs condensed: from mcsweeney's and marc haynes

The Beatles, "I Want to Hold Your Hand"

I want to do it with you.

- - - -

Marvin Gaye, "Let's Get It On"

I want to do it with you.

- - - -

Led Zeppelin, "Whole Lotta Love"

I want to do it with you.

- - - -

James Blunt, "You're Beautiful"

I want to do it with you.

- - - -

Sir Mix-a-Lot, "Baby Got Back"

I want to do it.

- - - -

Elvis Presley, "Hound Dog"

You're doing it with everyone.

- - - -

R. Kelly, "I Believe I Can Fly"

I believe I want to do it with you.

- - - -

Patsy Cline, "Crazy"

I want to do it with you so much I'm going fucking nuts.

- - - -

Frank Sinatra, "Strangers in the Night"

I'm drunk and I want to do it with you.

- - - -

The White Stripes, "My Doorbell"

Using metaphor, I want to do it with you.

- - - -

Little Richard, "Good Golly Miss Molly"

I'm doing it with Miss Molly, and she's totally into it.

- - - -

Duran Duran, "Rio"

I'd love to do that chick dancing on the sand.

- - - -

The Beatles, "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?"

I'd like to do it with you right now.

- - - -

Carly Simon, "You're So Vain"

We used to do it, but then you did it with someone else, and now I'm not going to do it with you, although I wish we were still doing it.

- - - -

Pulp, "Common People"

I once met a stuck-up European who wanted to do it with me.

- - - -

Radiohead, "Creep"

I'm filled with self-loathing, and, though outwardly I hate everything you represent, I want to do it with you.

- - - -

Kate Bush, "Wuthering Heights"

I'm an 18th-century fictional character and I want to do it with another 18th-century fictional character.

- - - -

Bob Dylan, "Blowin' in the Wind"

The Man is currently doing it to you.

- - - -

Elvis Presley, "Jailhouse Rock"

Incarcerated men will on occasion do it with each other.

- - - -

Meat Loaf, "I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)"

Hey! You won't believe what this one chick said while I was doing it with her!

- - - -

Kings of Leon, "Sex on Fire"

I did it with you, and now it hurts when I pee.

- - - -

Céline Dion, "My Heart Will Go On"

Even your death has not stopped me wanting to do it with you.

- - - -

AC/DC, "You Shook Me All Night Long"

We did it yesterday.

I still think this is the sexiest music video.

My car frame is cracked.

I'm wound up.

Winding down.

Miss Bipin, Mom, and other assorted people.

Minor Threat should do a reunion tour.

I woke up late this morning probably thinking it was a Sunday. Didn't have time for a shower so I just put my hair up and threw on some clothes from the floor. Needed to shave though... ewie.

I felt nasty the whole day. Oh wellls.

Voting day. Wish I could. Glad the majority of my school can't.

Photos for art class with Collin. Awkward as hell.

Loving the Donnas right now even though they're nothing special. I wish I was as bold. I'd rather not give a shit like that.

Looking outside the usual circle could be very beneficial to me.

LOVEE the Felice Brothers. Want to see them so bad. I always feel like I need a drink in my hand when I hear them.

I keep getting sucked in over and over again and then let down. So why so I keep doing it? Because I think something will change. In a mathematical world, this will keep happening over and over again, so why do I try to rationalize and say some other result will happen when the beginning pattern is the same? Mathematically, this will never work unless there is a change in the beginning of the equation.

But the human brain is a most complex thing. It can break out of patterns.

I suppose I'm depending on the psychological aspects to justify my pathetic attempt at getting mine. God I suck. Or God is completely against me on this. Which I totally understand. Duh.

Something cute to offset my stupid.

Ignoring and avoiding drama.

I miss my mom a lot now. She seems to call right when I'm on the verge of a breakdown or when I need another perspective. Or to get a second opinion that is usually close to mine so i figure that I'm right. She's right so often I just assume.